eBay find: Prettiest way ever to spend $177K - 1955 Chevy Bel Air

Shhhh. Behold its beauty for a moment.

Pervs at Porsche Help You Get with Barely Legal Teen Girls!

Let's face it. The most popular reason for owning a proper sportscar isn't to go fast. We can all appreciate their niceness, but only freaks like Tom Cruise actually buy one with their money. Next time you see a Ferrari Maranello or a Pegani Zonda stuck in traffic, the balding guy behind the wheel avoiding eye contact with other drivers - know this: he got the car to get hot teen girls.

Successful people can indulge their wrongest of impulses and the perverts at Porsche, who've catered to date-rape-drug aficionados for decades, have decided to offer a sexed-up version of the unsexiest Porsche ever, the Boxter with some shiny accessories. Because they know teen girls love those.
According to Autoblog, The Limited Edition Boxter will offer nothing for going faster. Instead, there's that designer shoe-like shade of GT3 RS Orange. Let's call it Orange County Orange. Plus there's big black wheels that the ladies also love. Let the grooming begin!

There's a long history of wacky colours and teenage girldom. Check out the special colour Steve Saleen created for his daughter. It's named after her - and I'm guessing she's not making payments on the car, either. Puts your dad's presents into perspective, doesn't it. (more pix of Molly Saleen's Mustang if you click).

Of course, any babe-magnet/pimp mobile owner knows that paint is everything. The General Lee or the Starsky and Hutch Grand Torino would just be basic transportation, 'A' to 'B' cars if they were silver or white.

Yellow, orange, kermit green, Listerine blue - those are colors that make hot teen girls drop it like it's hot- and Porsche and Steve Saleen know that. Check out the Wrangler, Mustang and Defender - in a colorful-car threesome in the very, very background of the first Britney Spears video. Remember when she was 'teen' and a 'girl' before the shaved head,kid and rehab?
Offended? Feel free to complain in comments, below.

Ford, VW and Suburu Want You to Have Kids and go to Ikea.

That's an IKEA bookshelf. Take a good look at it. Does it arouse? Do you love it? Do you want to marry it? Well, you must. Because you, computer-savvy, middle-class person can't seem to get your fill. Piles upon piles of these combined with shopping at Costco and fertility pills that make you have quadruplets are apparently spurring on all the cars guys to start thinking cargo space.

Why else would a VW Getta 'Sportwagon', a new Suburu Impreza and a brand new Ford thing called the Flex all be debuting in New York. Yes, it's the most boring car show of them all, since it takes place on 'enemy territory' among those foot using, whale kissers. Wagons are plentiful!

The great thing about wagons that, unlike SUVs, they won't start being uncool one day. Since the 50s, surfers and, later, straight-up gangstas have made wagons cool.. The Flex shows some of that potential for being tweaked into coolness. Some custom paint (plenty of room to express yourself on a wagon). Some rims and a cargo area filled with subwoofers, longboards and a mattress - and you've got yourself a wagon that doesn't look like it's your mom's!

We actually like the Flex. It's a wagon that doesn't try to hard, and that's always meant 'classic'. Unfortunately, the Flex is Front Wheel Drive (FWD) - as in - not cool or sporty. It's got lots of glass, so it'll be light. Which is good. And it's got a shiny metal-looking thing on the tailgate - which is wagoony. It's even got a white roof like the FJ Cruiser. Yes, they're calling it a cross-over - but forget all that. Check out their (still not-quite-done) microsite for the Flex.

Check out some of these old school, rear-wheel drive wagons show how it's done.

The Ford Galaxie - a blood relative of the Flex. Notice the guy even shaved off the doorhandles along with the nice Woody Woodpecker touches. Matte paint and red wheels are enough to make this big, bad bastard kick ass!




The Chevy Caprice Wagon was massive with customisers. My guess, it was the 5.7L bad-ass sitting under the hood. Plus, you could bolt on 96' Impala SS parts. Plus these were cheap after just a couple years!


When dead people just plain refuse to stay dead - who is it that you might consider calling? You god damn right, it's the Ghostbusters and their 1959 Cadillac Ambulance - officially called the Ecto 1 - since it's 'ectoplasm' that ghosts are made of. Also check out the fiends at Grim Rides Hearse Society to see more of these awesome 'wagons'.

Not just for car nerds: BT's MILF-off 2007 - take that Cars! Cars! Cars!

My favorite blogger and homie, Bob, on Cars!Cars!Cars! professes his love for Alison Krauss - who, I'm guessing, is big in America right now - where I don't live - that there's a seperate category on his blog for her name. I agree with Bob on most stuff he says - especially about the Monte Carlo. However, I don't get his thing with Alison. Go hang out in front of an elementary school in Orange County (you perv) and you'll see much hotter moms picking up their arian nation-looking kids.

But here at Basic Transportation, we follow the evidence. So, we're presenting the first-ever, BT MILF-off. You decide: (look what happens, Bob)

(no worries, voting won't take you anywhere else)

From Cool Cheap Cars - Really, really disgusting new Scion.

Lots of people didn't much like the Scion xB when it came out. Based on the Japanese Black Box, it just wasn't how L.A. people (where the first Scions were releases) looked at cars. L.A. folks want big trucks, or at least convertibles. Your car is who you are - and not a lot of people saw themselves as a slow refrigerator box. But the xB was cool enough to win over a lot of fans. With its impossibly massive interior (seriously, it's like an old Chevy Astro van in there) - and its low, low, low price - it was actually an OK way to go, car-wise.

But almost a decade later, Scion felt the pressure to do something new to the xB - so they made it ugly and more Toyota-like. Behold, the above picture of the uglified crap mobile that is replacing the beloved all box. It's rounder, its front end vaguely resembles Toyota vans and it's coming at you soon for $15,650. Look for the new Scion xB in Second Life too, it's even uglier.

A Chinese Chevy: How can You Lose?

If You're Under 25, you must be a DJ!

'Young people. With their music and their long hair. Get a damn job, you useless bastards!' That's just about how GM executives talk, we'd assume. Executive people are about the age to have teenage kids and who's more in touch with youth than their parents!

So, in a desperate, desperate death spasm of attempted coolness, Chevy has just shown off some shiny, new, teeny, tiny concept cars at the New York Auto Show. Needless to say, with how New York feels about cars - debuting very small and very slow rides simply must be done in walking capital of the United States.

But wait! It's not that all three of these little bastards might make it to production. Instead, like any good dad, Chevrolet has provided us with choice! Even you can go to http://www.vote4chevrolet.com/ and vote for the Beat, Groove or Trax as the concept you hate least. Also notice how they all have DJing related names, for that extra bit of small car funk.

Apparently, spinning some mad, phat vinyl is what all young people do all the time. They are the same exact people that, apparently, just crave the very hell out of tiny little cars. Witness this closeup of an orange Toyota Aygo, from last year's Paris show - with the hydraulic-powered rear(that's something we can all enjoy) that comes out on to reveal two turntables and a microphone. So play that funky music! (as long as you're not very tall)

Fake being cool and you can write about anything!

Hey Natalie Naff - they're called cars, please write about some.

Natalie's a tattooed, wannabe-vintage-tshirt -wearing Road Test Editor at Autoweek. Her column this week (linked) is a fascinating tale of her trying to smoke on a balcony in California. There's no mention of any vehicle whatsoever. How about how you can't get an ashtray in cars anymore? How about what smoking does to depreciation? How about how the H3 has been shown to cause cancer? (I made that last one up). But, seriously, what the hell?

Gee, Natalie - please tell me more. Share your insights and gift of wordsmithship with the rest of us. Or, give me a god damn break. I get that Autoweek sees how old-school they are - so let's get a hip, young smoker chick to write a little column of her feelings and oh-so 'with the kids' experiences.

Eh, sorry. I'm young(ish) and I even smoke. And I still don't buy it. Talk about cars - I'll get all the hip person commentary from people who aren't from Detroit, thanks.