Thursday, August 30
Why is it people buy Chevy Cobalts? Even with the attractive financing, and relative zippiness - (supercharged 2.0 - so it's not slow) but why allow yourself to be caught dead in this sad bastard? Even the Cavalier it replaces had tons more personality and Chevyness compared to this shapeless, pointless, old-Honda-Civic-wannabe coupe.
Usually - when I see a SEMA car on eBay - I stare at it for a while. Imagining how much better my life could be if I owned it. Big wheels, big speakers, big screens, big ballin, shot callin. Not on this occasion. Even on pretty wheels and with a two-tone paint job, this Chevy still sucks. Remember when they used to make cars?
So our advice is - if you already got at least a 'B' and mom promised you that sporty new car, check out a slower, but less tragic, Scion tc.
Does your pappy drive a van for work? His saws, hammers, drills and duct tape all neatly arranged in a pile - with old newspapers and water bottles sprinkled all over? Well, if he's still in an Astro from the 90s, it's because America's had a van shortage since Chevy killed the Astro, Ford killed the Aerostar and all dad had left is the Dodge Sprint - a rebranded Mercedes that only big, chain plumbers, carpenters and locksmiths could afford.
The rest of the van-driving dads had to get a pickup or keep fixing the old van. Well, now Dodge is striking a blow for the workin man by offering the 2008 Caravan with no-seats-in-the-back (read: commercial). The Crossfire ate doo-doo. The Avenger is ridiculous. Apparently what the Germans didn't understand is - Americans need vans!
Jaguar's a hot little potato right now. Ford's getting rid of it - but not quite yet. Meanwhile, after killing the S Class - Jag's got something brand new for you. And there's absolutely zero reason for you to give a crap. The new Jaguar XF looks like...an Acura or a Lexus or an Oldsmobile Alero how about an Audi. It totally looks like an Audi. In fact, it could be any car at all.
Compared to vintage Jaguars like this bowler hat-shaped Mark II from 1966 or so - the new XF, which the world got to see just a day or so ago boring. And it bores us.
Truth is, there's probably not one coming. But check out how easy GM's Aussie arm, Holden, makes it look. The Holden El Camino (not what it's really called) is everything you want (fast car) with nothing you don't (extra seats, floor, windows).
It's the perfect vehicle. Dump all your crap in the back and go harder. And this one's so damn sexy. And, with a chunky V8 under there, it's just as fast as the original with none of the 'gangs love stealing it' drawbacks.
You can read about all the boring details of this 411 horsepower, high-spec version of the Holden HSV Ute Maloo from Autoblog here.
Wednesday, August 29
Back in the Valley, 818, 106 degrees, lots of shiny new sheetmetal to gawk at from inside my unwashed-in-four-years Mustang drop-top. And I have to ask. How much is too much for gas? What will it take for you to get out of the sweet, sweet, Hummer and into something like....the new Mitsubishi Concept cX concept, premiering at Frankfurt next month.
It's a neat-enough, little car, I guess. And you know the gas mileage will be four times that of the H2 Humvee I so want. But when the Hummer H2 convertible arrives next year, how will you resist? I want to know if the good 'ol US of A will ever become Euro-like and drive tiny, personality-free hatchbacks that get like 50 miles to the gallon. Now's your chance to tell me and the world!!