Why nobody cares about Saab's end except Swedes.

 

You ever known anyone with a Saab. I'm special enough to have known a few Saab owners. They were never the sort of people that spent a lot of time choosing a car. Micheline Maynard at the NYTimes, makes an argument that Saabs were special and different and quirky. But I bet you anything the ones she's thinking of are from the 80s. The turbocharged, rugged euro hatchbacks that made a Saab special. And the cool picture here of the Saab prototype 92001, also jacked from NYT, is of from 1942 and sitting in a museum in Stockholm. Stockholm loves theirs Saabs like London loves its taxis and Jaguars or Germans think of their E-Class. It's what Sweden uses for Taxis and cop cars, along with, shocker, Volvos.

But hey, even though the key was in a fun place, Saabs always lacked a lifestyle to buy into, an aspirational element, an image. If I'm a young urban professional, I'll have a silver BMW. If I want a powerful, wild-man car, I'll pay the roughly 30K for a Mustang GT Convertible.Outdoorsy fun? Nissan Xterra. I'm boring and responsible: Lexus. For all the cars that could be had in Saab's price-range, all of them told the world just where you were at. 'I've got about 30 grand to spend on a car. My student life days are long behind me.'

The Saab never worked hard to establish who was supposed to buy one. OK, so we know Architects liked them and so did Seinfeld. Who else? People who liked grandma glasses around their $30 / £20K station wagon's headlights? At best, the newer Saabs look like 5-Series knockoffs. Just like Chevrolet, they lost their way and started looking like they were designed by committee - beige. So, sadly, we now loose another, if even slightly, unique car brand. But, just like Plymouth, Oldsmobile and Rover. We lost Saab long before its official death.

Police cars - it makes sense that they look scary

Nothing's as bone chilling as a cop car coming up on you in the rearview. A harsh grille, spotlights and flashers hanging off of it like a cowboy's gun belt. Bull bars in case it needs to shove you out of the way, hurrying to protect and to serve.

There was a time when the big three competed just for your monthly payment but for the giants wads of cash cops spend on their cars. I've owned a cop car - an '89 Chevy Caprice. The radiator was twice as thick as the civilian Caprice I'd owned before. It had a transmission cooler, an oil cooler, beefed up suspension and 5.7 liters of law enforcing thunder. That a picture of it right here.

Then the caprice went away, replaced with the Tahoe. How'd that work out? Dodge / Plymouth had stopped selling cop cars back in the 80s and cops, feds and narcs were left with the cop-killing Crown Victoria.

Chevy made a half-assed pass at cop cars with the front-wheel drive Impala. And it was sad. New York cops use these cause they're cheaper and they don't get into chases. 

But hey, now, the other guys are coming back to take the Crown Victoria's....crown. Dodge Chargers have taken over a number of places - by far the meanest, most Judge Dredd-looking cop car on the road. Chevy has announced they'll once again start making the best car ever made: the Caprice. And hey, it makes sense that GM makes cars for the government. The tickets you get from it will literally help pay for making it. You wanna think the cops won't have to pay too much to buy cars from the government. Ponder that.

I really don't have anything against Germans - Alex's Car Scheisse now ready!

It's easy to just think I don't much care for Germany, if you watch my latest video efforts on Alex's Carmageddon. Alex's Car Scheisse (as it Sheisse porn - there's not an 'R' in it). In this one, I'm driving from Munich to Berlin, averaging 90MPH - in a very slow, Mercedes B Class.

It's not that I dislike Germany or Germans - the sausage in Munich and the Kebabs in Berlin would blow your very mind. That said, driving on the Autobahn ain't no 101 Freeway. I'd rather leave it up to the video series to tell you more. Do check it out at http://www.youtube.com/user/LAMPGMovie

Alex's Carmageddon and this latest episode is also available on iTunes

GM: Not even the Volt can Save them. Chrysler - Last chance for Hornet

GM is finally dead. For my thoughts about its demise, see the first-ever post on this blog. GM: Designing Disaster. Even the upcoming Volt, the car that may save the world, can't save GM from maple-sirrup-sipping puck slappers.

But maybe there's still some hope for Chrysler. I've mentioned it before, but the Dodge Hornet was always a good idea. It's the only small, American car anyone might possible begin to consider thinking about owning.

C'mon, Chrysler. GM didn't listen and now look.

Twitteri on Cars: The Twitter Auto blog post thing

As everyone and, indeed, their mother - I now twitter. And, since I originally cooked this up as a way to help your juice, wet eyeballs on Alex's Carmageddon - my funny video series - my car tweet, as apparently we call these things - is called Alxs Carmageddon. But Alex, why isn't there an 'E' in your name. Because like everything else on Twitter, there's a tight limit on the characters you can use. So, you can't do what you do with your car blog. If I want to talk about the Swedish Koenigsegg - pictured, I better not and just mention Chevies. Car Twittering's in its infancy. Like with anything else car bloggish, you're best off following Autoblog and checking in with my Carmageddon Tweet to see how the filming, editing and posting is going. If you haven't watched, here's what happens: I go to places like Los Angeles (where I'm partially from) and Germany (where I don't like very much) and I show car culture at its purest - and review a car or two if I get around to it. I do an amazing Smartcar ForTwo Review - yes, video, in my first few posts L.A. MPG- discussing last year's fuel crisis as I go along. There's some laughs in it too.

My next effort, as you saw in a previous post, is Alex's Car Scheisser - shot on the Autobahn. You can follow the Alex's Carmageddon Tweet to see how it progresses!

New Prius? The Tuk Tuk craps on you!

So you're already checking out the new Prius, huh? Oooh, it's so efficient, aaah, it doesn't have any personality to get in the way of the fuel savings! You're so wrong! What you should be looking at is the newly EPA-approved Tuk Tuk! Straight outta Thailand, the three-wheeler gets a ladyboy-groping 55 miles to the gallon! Stick that in your glory hole, Toyota!

With fuel-saving modifications like no doors, no airbags and the capability to haul sex tourists at a scorching 55 miles per hour - the Tuk Tuk is the future! As the Tuk Tuk USA website clearly proves - broken links, animated bugs bunny, side by side pickup truck comparison and all. But hey, at ten grand, that kicks the crap out of the Prius' 30,000 pricetag!