New Jaguar XJ falls victim to BMW 7-Series Syndrome

There's something about a Jaguar. It's often the automobile of the world's most interesting man, or at least the Equalizer. They've always looked about the same and you've always assumed that the driver was the kind of guy to always wear a suit and often pack a gun. He carried a Zippo and a hip flask and women wanted him because they could never tame him. 

And then this thing came out. You can see images of the new 2010 Jaguar JK here (google images) and when you do, you won't like them. Not because the new JK isn't good looking, because it is, somewhat, pretty, but because it has nothing to do with Jaguars as you think of them. The new JK looks a lot like the latest, slopy-backed Audi A6 and even more, especially from the back, like the Citroen C6 pictured here. The man driving this new Jaguar JK could be an accountant, a dentist, a perpetrated of Medi-Cal fraud or even a woman! 

The story is similar to what happened to the BMW 7 Series. The older, squarer big sedan was understated, purposeful and single-minded - it was perfect as the star in The Transporter - a movie that's otherwise bad in every way. However, the new BMW 7 is like someone's drunk dad.  The icon of manly classiness that was the BMW 7 Series went way beyond loosening the bow-tie with its evening brandy - it bulged and rounded, like Elvis. Leaving it the same  sad shell of its former self. Now this has happened with Jags too. Like when dad gets drunk, it's unrecognizable, discomforting. and undeniably uncool.  So for all those who seek a car with mystery and an element of danger, along with a proper trunklid, the Mercedes S Class it is the best you're gonna do.