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Tuesday, September 11

Driving the 2007 Escalade - Cool, wrong, really badly made

2007 EscaladeThere's too many car reviews online - so we hate doing them. But when given the chance to jump behind the wheel of a 2007 Escalade - the ultimate SUV - I said 'what the hell, let's do it.'

It goes without saying that the Escalade is sexy as hell and ridiculously roomy. But, of course, so is the Tahoe, which costs half as much. While they no longer share a platform and 95% of the parts, the two trucks are still the same size. The Escalade has an unnecessarily bigger, V8 and, most importantly, the constantly adjusted, futuristic-magnetically-charged shocks.

2007 Escalade InteriorAt one point, the Cadillac man that came along for the ride insisted, with no hint of sarcasm, that I try to flip the Escalade and - since it wasn't mine - I was happy to give it a shot. It didn't take long for me to get the four-ton bastard up to 50 on a surface street and, bracing myself for rollover goodness, I yanked the wheel for a hard left (after all, Tony Soprano flipped his Escalade and walked away).

The king of bling just turned into the parking lot where I pointed and screeched sideways like a Camaro. Expensive computers told one side of the car to become stiffer to make up for...physics. The truck was unflippable.

So, drivability is impressive and who doesn't like 22inch chrome rims from the factory. Quality is another issue altogether. Bare in mind that the $77 grand on the Escalade's sticker can buy a slew of different luxury cars. Before even getting a close look at the Caddy, I could see the seam of the drivers' door was crooked, narrow on the top and much wider on the bottom. This was without looking very closely - it didn't occur to me to check the body on a new car - I usually reserve it for salvaged pieces of crap like that Buick Riviera I had.

Crooked doors, on a brand new, $80K Cadillac. Seriously? Inside, the plasticky feel of fake wood panels glued onto pickup dashboard panels is a bit better than it was on the old, pickup-based Caddies - but not much better. The second time I went to backup, the backup camera had stopped working. The time before, it had shown the rear bumper on the navigation screen, which was cool. I put the car into 'drive' and then 'reverse' again. Nothing, the camera toy had gone too. Again, this Escalade had 40 miles on it at the time.

I was done. The Bose, 5.1 Dolby sound system also sounded like crap. The guy tried to explain that every Escalade's sound settings were adjusted at the dealer when it was purchased. 'So, it just sounds crappy from the factory?'

Maybe we, as a society, need to find a new pimpmobile? Maybe better-made and with better gas mileage?

7 comments:

Anonymous said...

I TOTALLY DISAGREE WITH YOU. I OWN A NEW ESCALADE, AND I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY OF THE DEFECTS THAT YOU HAVE MENTIONED. THE BIG V-8 IS FINE WITH ME. GET ME OUT OF THE WAY WHEN I NEED IT.I HAVE NOT SEEN ANY UNEVEN SEAMS IN THE DOORS, OR ANY WHERE ELSE.
I DROVE A NEW TAHOE,YUKON DENALI WHEN I WAS READY TO PURCHASE A NEW SUV, THEY DON'T EVEN COMPARE.
THE BACK-UP CAMERA HAS NOT FAILED ONCE.
SOUNDS LIKE YOU WERE DRIVING A LEMON.

Anonymous said...

LOL -- sounds to me like he was driving an Escalade! Sounds to me like other driver wouldn't know a quality automotive product if it drove over him and then backed up and drove over him again- with or without the camera. GM = KRAP. It's a mass produced, thrown together Suburban chassis with cheesy crap fittings and some leather thrown on a couple of seats to make it smell expensive. Otherwise, it's just a Chevy truck.

Sucks when you can break it down like that, eh?

Alex said...

The new Escalade (the one I drove) doesn't share any parts with the Suburban/Tahoe/Silverado platform. But it's still a very fast, comfortable, pimpy piece of crap:)

Anonymous said...

NOTHING COMPARES TO AN ESCALADE! I WOULD KNOW BECAUSE WE OWN AN 2005 AND A 2007!! THEY ARE SICK AS HELL,AND WE HAVE NEVER HAD PROBLEMS!! AND WE ALSO OWN A TAHOE, WHICH IS USUALLY LEFT PARKED BECAUSE THE ESCALADE IS WAYYYYYYYYYYYYY BETTER!!! MABY YOU SHOULD GET A SMART CAR, SEEMS LIKE YOUR TYPE OF VEHICLE!

Anonymous said...

i own a 2007 escalade and i love every second of it from its big v8 to its 22 inch fatory rims and i never had any problems with it i love it and it seems to me the one you had was a lemon. you cant get any better then an escalade!!!!

anthony said...

07 escalade I love this big fat bast/// i have 158000km on her and never a problem it actually does desent on gas,compared to x5,rangrover,MLs,or any other v8. I bought my wife ML55 bens,if your looking for junk this is it $128000 in 2009,46000km and its been in for repair 9 times,rackenpinion,crank sensor,front end work,gps,power window motor pass & driver side,and so on and so on,put gas in this baby and start counting Ks,so you know what there is no free ride they all suck!!! Ilove my domestic escalade

Duncan Moredock said...

Each person just has different tastes when it comes to cars. It all depends on what they are going to use it for. Are they going to use it for work, or to fetch kids, or to simply appear cool? Others prefer high-performance cars, while others prefer fuel-saving models. It's always better to research first before buying.