A Cool Volvo? Thanks Galpin for your Custom C30

If you were at the L.A. Autoshow - you were probably dissappointed. A lot of the same old without many debuts. Generally, a lot of plastic, already-available cars for close to $30K. It left us wanting a restored Chevy Malibu and one of those eight dollar Margaritas they were peddling in the convention center.

But, if you'd stopped by the Galpin booth next to the Garage Envy Ford GT display, you saw something you have never seen before. A customised / hot-rodded Volvo. And not just any safety-obsessed Ikea couch on wheels - but the C30.

Shocking the world with a radical use of flat paint (like the Lexus, flat black, FiveAxis concept but not). This thing was purple, had a Galpiny white racing stripe and massive, color-matched purple wheels with white walls. So, what it looked like was a lead sled from the 50s but on a cutting edge Volvo hatchback. The car appears in Galpin's 2008 calendar but it's still in the Basic Transportation official car - so we're not sure which month. A hatchback that looks fast but not 'import scene fast'? Awesome! What do you think about the fast and furious C30? Comment at will!

Buck Pimps out an Enclave for the 'Urban CEO'. Sounds suspicious.

If you really run a tech company, rap record label, hell, even an insurance company - you're not driving a Buick. But what if you want to spend 10 thousand dollars less than the price of an Hummer H2 - about 45 grand? Well, Buick has a suggestion they're debuting at the SEMA show. Autoblog has the details, but here's what we know. It's an Enclave, which is actually the least-sad Buick since the 93 Riviera - lowered, on big wheels and with a glued-on ground treatment that makes it look like a C student's Porsche Cayenne! And that's not bad! The 45 grand is the price of an Enclave, plus, let's say airbags, bumpers, sideskirts and rims. Let's say 50K - but you can build your very own 'Urban CEO Enclave' (it was better than calling it The Street Pharmacist Special.

Driving the 2007 Escalade - Cool, wrong, really badly made

There's too many car reviews online - so we hate doing them. But when given the chance to jump behind the wheel of a 2007 Escalade - the ultimate SUV - I said 'what the hell, let's do it.'

It goes without saying that the Escalade is sexy as hell and ridiculously roomy. But, of course, so is the Tahoe, which costs half as much. While they no longer share a platform and 95% of the parts, the two trucks are still the same size. The Escalade has an unnecessarily bigger, V8 and, most importantly, the constantly adjusted, futuristic-magnetically-charged shocks.

At one point, the Cadillac man that came along for the ride insisted, with no hint of sarcasm, that I try to flip the Escalade and - since it wasn't mine - I was happy to give it a shot. It didn't take long for me to get the four-ton bastard up to 50 on a surface street and, bracing myself for rollover goodness, I yanked the wheel for a hard left (after all, Tony Soprano flipped his Escalade and walked away).

The king of bling just turned into the parking lot where I pointed and screeched sideways like a Camaro. Expensive computers told one side of the car to become stiffer to make up for...physics. The truck was unflippable.

So, drivability is impressive and who doesn't like 22inch chrome rims from the factory. Quality is another issue altogether. Bare in mind that the $77 grand on the Escalade's sticker can buy a slew of different luxury cars. Before even getting a close look at the Caddy, I could see the seam of the drivers' door was crooked, narrow on the top and much wider on the bottom. This was without looking very closely - it didn't occur to me to check the body on a new car - I usually reserve it for salvaged pieces of crap like that Buick Riviera I had.

Crooked doors, on a brand new, $80K Cadillac. Seriously? Inside, the plasticky feel of fake wood panels glued onto pickup dashboard panels is a bit better than it was on the old, pickup-based Caddies - but not much better. The second time I went to backup, the backup camera had stopped working. The time before, it had shown the rear bumper on the navigation screen, which was cool. I put the car into 'drive' and then 'reverse' again. Nothing, the camera toy had gone too. Again, this Escalade had 40 miles on it at the time.

I was done. The Bose, 5.1 Dolby sound system also sounded like crap. The guy tried to explain that every Escalade's sound settings were adjusted at the dealer when it was purchased. 'So, it just sounds crappy from the factory?'

Maybe we, as a society, need to find a new pimpmobile? Maybe better-made and with better gas mileage?

eBay Find: SEMA Show Chevy Cobalt SS is still a lame Cobalt.

Why is it people buy Chevy Cobalts? Even with the attractive financing, and relative zippiness - (supercharged 2.0 - so it's not slow) but why allow yourself to be caught dead in this sad bastard? Even the Cavalier it replaces had tons more personality and Chevyness compared to this shapeless, pointless, old-Honda-Civic-wannabe coupe.

Usually - when I see a SEMA car on eBay - I stare at it for a while. Imagining how much better my life could be if I owned it. Big wheels, big speakers, big screens, big ballin, shot callin. Not on this occasion. Even on pretty wheels and with a two-tone paint job, this Chevy still sucks. Remember when they used to make cars?

So our advice is - if you already got at least a 'B' and mom promised you that sporty new car, check out a slower, but less tragic, Scion tc.

eBay find of the day: Yea Boi! The Best Chevy ever-made gets Better!

We're big fans of the 80s Chevrolet Caprice - the Brick. The Caprice was big and it was fast. There was really nothing else to it. And if you're going to have a cheap car, have yourself a big one.

If you got the police package, you had yourself a Camero that cooled better and sat five. Plus spotlights!

Still, this eBayer found a way to improve on a perfect car. Not just by adding 26' Cabo rims but also making a custom suspension for them, monster truck-style.

The obligatory Lambo doors and lots of subwoofers are here too and this phat ass whip was also featured in East Coast Ryders: Volume 3 which we all know was the Godfather 2 of the ECR franchise.



The seller now 'needs money for a situation that's come up' and Buy It Now is only 15 grand!

This will be the Dusenberg of our time.

Something for Everyone! Except GM. Nothing for those guys.
- Malibu's not on fire.

Hypothetically, I am average, 31 and gave up on trying to be an individual long ago. I don’t really go out that much. I work in an office. I feel my desktop pattern is an insightful comment on who I am as a person. I am not the junior. Not the boss. Not quite a beggar, definitely not a chooser. I was quite good at algebra back in state school. I prefer long-term relationships with girls I think of as ‘not traditionally attractive.’ I figure a car is supposed to get me from ‘A’ to ‘B.’ Getting noticed makes me have to double-up on my Zoloft.

OR

I am a rent-a-car company.

OR

I like cheap, decent looking cars that can take a set of big wheels, tinted windows, 15-inch subs, maybe a couple pullies and an exhaust system before I dip it in chameleon paint and take it cruising with my heinas.

Who am I? I am a Ford Fusion buyer!

The Fusion's got a lot going for it! It offers a good-looking and cheap platform to get a nice custom look without having to do too much. Fusion’s simple and attractive lines are what made cars like the ‘84 Regal and the ‘96 Caprice along with the current 300 such great platforms for customising, modifying, pimpin-out or Pep Boysing up. Putting an understated body on a popular platform like the Mazda 6 means whether you read Consumer Reports or Street Source -you'll like the Fusion.

These are qualities that the current Malibu doesn't even aspire to. Chevies used to be about designing cars with looks that you won’t mind - even if you don’t like. Now Chevrolet's uncertain about who actually wants a Chevy car. The Fusion is being marketd to pretty much everyone. Office slave? Just keep it out of the bosses spot or no company retreat for you! Fast and furious? You can at least make it look like it. Space mutant? Buy a Malibu to distract people from your ooziness. The Malibu is now marketed as a family car. Though the orange SS concept with a six-speed doing the show circuit in '98 told a different story. Now, you can't get it with a stick. Generally, people buy cars like the Malibu for the same reason they get the big bucket at KFC. It's kinda gross, but a cheap way to deal with having kids.

Like with Marauder and the last real Impala that inspired it, Ford is now following in GM's platform-sharing footsteps, but with the benefit of hindsight. GM couldn’t make us buy the Opel as the ‘Caddy that zigs,’ and there’s not even plans to let us have the hardtop convertible version of Malibu available in Europe. It’s what the Brits call ‘taking a piss.’ Ford’s platform-sharing with a Motor Trend Car of the Year - they don’t have to drop anything, including their top or the price to get us all into it.

Meanwhile, the Ford Fusion isn’t not selling. Anyone at all looking for some sensible transportation - whether they be in IT, sales or even IT sales, will find something they like in the genuinely handsome and determinately vanilla Fusion. There's something of the 99 Honda Accord, the 90s Dodge Stratus, 98 Honda Prelude and a Gilette Mach 3 about the Fusion.

Its blandness is its winning formula. And, as Ford spends millions on sponsoring concerts, events and TV shows to make us see the Fusion’s awesomeness to the max - Malibu remains the true king of middle-aged people who aren’t doing so hot financially and immigrants looking for that first American car experience. Meanwhile, just to prove my very point (but in the past), the Ford crew was clever enough to sprinkle some Fusions on last November’s SEMA Show(one pictured) . And if you haven’t seen them, you should. If you haven’t seen the Malibus or Impalas at last year’s SEMA, you should get used to that.