Police cars - it makes sense that they look scary

Nothing's as bone chilling as a cop car coming up on you in the rearview. A harsh grille, spotlights and flashers hanging off of it like a cowboy's gun belt. Bull bars in case it needs to shove you out of the way, hurrying to protect and to serve.

There was a time when the big three competed just for your monthly payment but for the giants wads of cash cops spend on their cars. I've owned a cop car - an '89 Chevy Caprice. The radiator was twice as thick as the civilian Caprice I'd owned before. It had a transmission cooler, an oil cooler, beefed up suspension and 5.7 liters of law enforcing thunder. That a picture of it right here.

Then the caprice went away, replaced with the Tahoe. How'd that work out? Dodge / Plymouth had stopped selling cop cars back in the 80s and cops, feds and narcs were left with the cop-killing Crown Victoria.

Chevy made a half-assed pass at cop cars with the front-wheel drive Impala. And it was sad. New York cops use these cause they're cheaper and they don't get into chases. 

But hey, now, the other guys are coming back to take the Crown Victoria's....crown. Dodge Chargers have taken over a number of places - by far the meanest, most Judge Dredd-looking cop car on the road. Chevy has announced they'll once again start making the best car ever made: the Caprice. And hey, it makes sense that GM makes cars for the government. The tickets you get from it will literally help pay for making it. You wanna think the cops won't have to pay too much to buy cars from the government. Ponder that.

It's Coming! Dodge Challenger starts getting made! Cooler than Camaro? You decide!

All the car blogs are letting you know that Dodge is ready to auction off the first three, production Challengers! That means the tooling's done and we're ready for the oldest-looking, new muscle car yet! Meanwhile, Chevy is so close to the Camaro that they're already showing you the Convertible version at Frankfurt.

But only Basic Transportation lets you tell me which one you'd go test drive, haggle over, finance and drive to work!

Opinion Polls & Market Research

Hatchback Sales are Way Up. Uh....yay!

Here's a couple examples of hatchbacks that don't suck; The VW GTI, which exists and is great and the Dodge Hornet, which may or may not be getting made or not made in China or America, some say.

And, of course, there's the Fiat 500 which I hyped up so big a couple days ago that I don't feel the need to talk about it anymore.

Either way, according to the L.A. Times, which uses fancy 'sta-tis-tics', sales of hatchbacks were way up in July 07 while overall car sales were down. This could simply mean that the economy is crumpling a little faster than it seems and that the only cars people feel they can afford are small and cheap - The Nissan Versa is on the list of big winners...but then so is the not-at-all-cheap Mini. So it's not the crumbling economy. It must be that some people are seeing the up side of having something relatively roomy that's not too expensive and, of course, gets ridiculous gas mileage. We're talking in the 30mpg range for most of these rear-window-wipered bastards!

So maybe, slowly, the image of the 80s hatchback is slowly going away...slowly. The Dodge Omni, pictured above, is, unquestionably, the hatchback that ruined the word 'hatchback' for all cars with a hatched back the same way hitler ruined that little mustache for everyone. It was a horrendous piece of car crap but did help get Chrysler saved by Congress. It was also Motor Trend's 1978 Car of the Year - which just proves Motor Trend is bullshit. Let's root for cars like the GTI and the Mini to make hatchbacks not suck.

The Man With the Van now Has a Plan - 2008 Dodge Caravan

Does your pappy drive a van for work? His saws, hammers, drills and duct tape all neatly arranged in a pile - with old newspapers and water bottles sprinkled all over? Well, if he's still in an Astro from the 90s, it's because America's had a van shortage since Chevy killed the Astro, Ford killed the Aerostar and all dad had left is the Dodge Sprint - a rebranded Mercedes that only big, chain plumbers, carpenters and locksmiths could afford.

The rest of the van-driving dads had to get a pickup or keep fixing the old van. Well, now Dodge is striking a blow for the workin man by offering the 2008 Caravan with no-seats-in-the-back (read: commercial). The Crossfire ate doo-doo. The Avenger is ridiculous. Apparently what the Germans didn't understand is - Americans need vans!

Pickup Spot: Expensive gas, now James Inhofe and Korea - are Trucks screwed?

First, a bit of poli-sci background. James Inhofe was, until just after the mid-terms, chairman of the Senate Committee on Environment and Public Works. Because he doesn't beleive in global warming, American drivers have cheerfully been left alone when it came to cutting down on ice cap-melting V8s. And that was pretty good...for us, not the ice caps. Screw those.

Now, James, who compared Al Gore's whale hugging, tree kissing, flick to Hitler's Mein Kompf, is gone. And a democrat is taking his place. Good for the environment, bad for big, fat, fun trucks. Are trucks in trouble? Will we still be able to highlight the quality with which we f*ck using the immense size of our truck? We'll see.

In the meantime, here's the latest in truckdom:

We've been looking forward to the H3T - based on the concept GM showed off like three years ago, before the H3 was even out (left). Now, it looks like we're getting closer to production. And the pictures just posted on AutoBlog (below) made our mouths fill with vomit, as dreams of our new Hummer H3T pickup fizzled away. Might as well just get a Ranger.



Jeep, meanwhile, also gave up its concept truck ambitions and settled for a bit of welding to chop down the Wrangler into a Wrangler with a pickup bed. Again, the concept - cool. The actual truck we'll be seeing soon? Well, you have to really like the front end of Wranglers (as I do) to give a crap. We've got high hopes for the extended cab. There's no room for stuff behind the seats in this one Plus, let's home a real-Jeep-style soft top is coming too. The convertible Dakotas are getting pretty old, we need a convertible truck! (SSR is not a truck)

Finally, check out what the Koreans are threatening us with now. No, it's not a brilliant white light being the last thing we all see before being vaporised. That's a different Korea. South Korea just plan to nuke America's truck industry. As opposed to Jeep and Hummer, this is the real demilitirized zone right here:

Instead of playing soldier, the concept sketches from Kia and Hyundai look like Titan-style pickups where you sit on leather watching big screens not playing G.I.Joe in a truck based on another truck based on a civilian version of an army truck.

The Dodge Nitro. How to feel:

How to feel about it?

I've seen the Nitro a bunch of times at car shows. On one hand, it can be customized and - on rims, with tints, a blackout grille, and TVs in the headrests - this thing will be alright. But so will anything. Aside from that, do Volvo-driving soccer moms really need another family truckster with 4x4? Let's be honest with ourselves. If you're serious about your 4x4ing, you won't be going for this Dodge. That'd be like taking your cousin to the big dance - deep down, you'll know you can't really do anything serious.

And so, briefly, don't spend 20K on this. And, whatever you do, don't spend close to 30 for the leathered out, 4x4 (link to 'price announced Autoblog story). Basic Transportation suggests something basic - like the Jeep Unlimited.

Selling Cars: Apparently not crucial in the car-selling business.
-Car companies don't just spend their time drawing cars and then making some. Let's look at what else they do.

Movie stars, charity events, yes, even blogs are part of the fight to shove a new car into your driveway. Product placement, champagne-soaked galas and children's events with not a child in sight are all crucial for maintaining the delicate business called automotive.

Not all these activities are a complete waste of that $199 a month we pay to lease our Getta….I mean….Chevy truck. Creating buzz and a genuine appearance of corporate goodwill is a major priority for manufacturers. In this, long awaited, rebirth of Basic Transportation, let's look at everyone's up to.

Look, here's Tom Cruise and Laurence Fishburne looking excited about MI3 on the roof of an Escalade. That's because GM are the official providers of cars for the Tribeca Film Festival in New York. To be fair, if you paid to see MI3, good chance you think the current Impala is pretty nifty too.

The sponsorship is ideal because everyone knows that no American craves a 6.2 litre V8 more than New Yorkers. And with the gobs of media coverage the Tribeca Film Festival garners across the nation, there's no doubt that having the almost-convincingly-straight Cruise and the not-quite-popular-since-Matrix Fishburne stand on the Escalade is the perfect thing for GM to do.

This is money that could be used making more Solstices. The HHR is a great use of an existing platform, whereas middle-aged celebrities on a Cady isn't. Instead, getting involved with the TFF is as uninspired an idea as the Cobalt.

Dodge, on the other hand, are mingling the regular folk! A fantastic idea that's made even better with some 'amateur' snaps springing up on Autoblog. The Challenger concept, just debuted at Detroit in January is now making surprise appearances. To check out what the muscle car buying public thought, some Dodge guys showed up to a California cruise night to cheer up so real car fans. Needless to say, no one jumped on the roof.

In case there was any doubt, people love cars like this and they must have loved seeing the retro concept. It’s hard to believe that starting with a car that was made already, thirty-something years ago is even allowed in the car designer handbook - but the success of the current Mustang after years of ponycar wannabes from Ford changed the rules.

The Challenger is a lot truer to its roots that the current Charger or even the Camaro Concept. There is, however, one car that’s looked pretty much the same since day one, sometime around D-day, in WWII. That’s right, it’s the Jeep - CJ, TJ, Wrangler or Renegade, there’s only one Jeep that comes to mind when someone says Jeep. It’s the Jeep. And Jeep continued to break new ground in product placement since the last century, striking deals with video game producers (and, in Tony Hawk‘s case, stars) to make sure that Jeeps stay at the front of our mind and associated with the word ‘Jeep‘. While the latest Unlimited has little to do with WWII, that’s no reason those patriotic feelings shouldn’t be nourished.

That's why Jeep struck a deal with Electronic Arts to feature a Willys Overland in next year’s sequel to Medal of Honor, called Medal of Honor Airborne. The Jeep will be able to go places other game vehicles can’t and be used as a weapon’s platform. No word yet when the RPG-launcher edition Wrangler will announced.

Something for Everyone! Except GM. Nothing for those guys.
- Malibu's not on fire.

Hypothetically, I am average, 31 and gave up on trying to be an individual long ago. I don’t really go out that much. I work in an office. I feel my desktop pattern is an insightful comment on who I am as a person. I am not the junior. Not the boss. Not quite a beggar, definitely not a chooser. I was quite good at algebra back in state school. I prefer long-term relationships with girls I think of as ‘not traditionally attractive.’ I figure a car is supposed to get me from ‘A’ to ‘B.’ Getting noticed makes me have to double-up on my Zoloft.

OR

I am a rent-a-car company.

OR

I like cheap, decent looking cars that can take a set of big wheels, tinted windows, 15-inch subs, maybe a couple pullies and an exhaust system before I dip it in chameleon paint and take it cruising with my heinas.

Who am I? I am a Ford Fusion buyer!

The Fusion's got a lot going for it! It offers a good-looking and cheap platform to get a nice custom look without having to do too much. Fusion’s simple and attractive lines are what made cars like the ‘84 Regal and the ‘96 Caprice along with the current 300 such great platforms for customising, modifying, pimpin-out or Pep Boysing up. Putting an understated body on a popular platform like the Mazda 6 means whether you read Consumer Reports or Street Source -you'll like the Fusion.

These are qualities that the current Malibu doesn't even aspire to. Chevies used to be about designing cars with looks that you won’t mind - even if you don’t like. Now Chevrolet's uncertain about who actually wants a Chevy car. The Fusion is being marketd to pretty much everyone. Office slave? Just keep it out of the bosses spot or no company retreat for you! Fast and furious? You can at least make it look like it. Space mutant? Buy a Malibu to distract people from your ooziness. The Malibu is now marketed as a family car. Though the orange SS concept with a six-speed doing the show circuit in '98 told a different story. Now, you can't get it with a stick. Generally, people buy cars like the Malibu for the same reason they get the big bucket at KFC. It's kinda gross, but a cheap way to deal with having kids.

Like with Marauder and the last real Impala that inspired it, Ford is now following in GM's platform-sharing footsteps, but with the benefit of hindsight. GM couldn’t make us buy the Opel as the ‘Caddy that zigs,’ and there’s not even plans to let us have the hardtop convertible version of Malibu available in Europe. It’s what the Brits call ‘taking a piss.’ Ford’s platform-sharing with a Motor Trend Car of the Year - they don’t have to drop anything, including their top or the price to get us all into it.

Meanwhile, the Ford Fusion isn’t not selling. Anyone at all looking for some sensible transportation - whether they be in IT, sales or even IT sales, will find something they like in the genuinely handsome and determinately vanilla Fusion. There's something of the 99 Honda Accord, the 90s Dodge Stratus, 98 Honda Prelude and a Gilette Mach 3 about the Fusion.

Its blandness is its winning formula. And, as Ford spends millions on sponsoring concerts, events and TV shows to make us see the Fusion’s awesomeness to the max - Malibu remains the true king of middle-aged people who aren’t doing so hot financially and immigrants looking for that first American car experience. Meanwhile, just to prove my very point (but in the past), the Ford crew was clever enough to sprinkle some Fusions on last November’s SEMA Show(one pictured) . And if you haven’t seen them, you should. If you haven’t seen the Malibus or Impalas at last year’s SEMA, you should get used to that.