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Wednesday, August 4

Small Businesses need small vans - yo, where are they?

If you found this, you're a van man. Most hits this site gets is for van-related stuff. I don't really care that much about vans, but my dad does. He drives one every weekday, full of heavy equipment, tools, van stuff. He drives a Sonoma, but he used to drive an Astro. Why do I care, Alex? Because if you want a small van in North America, you're essentially screwed. Most of the vans at your shopping disposal will be huge.

I know most van radios are tuned to Conservative talk radio and I know that people who listen to Conservative talk radio don't like Europe. And yet, in Europe your van can be as small or as big as you like. The most popular van remains the Ford Transport. Not the front-wheel drive Transport Express. In Europe, you can buy tiny hatchbacks that are all set to take your small amounts of stuff around town. The one pictured is a Fiat, but most of the Euro brands will sell you one of these.

But I have a whole lot of crap and also Europe is socialist, you say. Peel the Bush Chaney sticker off your pickup shell and have a look at all the van combination you could be enjoying with 5 different sizes of Renault Vans. I promise you someone will be desperate to buy that link. But at the moment, it goes to Renault's official van site. And it will make the American van driver drool.

Why can't you buy that many van combinations in America? Anybody's guess. Mine is that when SUVs became popular, van makers couldn't rely on Joe Plumber or my dad repairman for their profits. Vans like the Astros or the Ford Aerostar wanted to sell families expensive, cushy vans. Selling my dad a shell with a V6 and rear-wheel drive wasn't a money maker. So instead, they made you get a pickup or an SUV. Now, if you go around in a white box all day, your choices are almost none-existend. Huge Chevy Sonoma, huge Dodge Sprinter or Huge Ford 250-prison-van-thing.

Let's start a van petition in the comments!

Sunday, August 1

New Jaguar XJ falls victim to BMW 7-Series Syndrome

2011 Jaguar JK
There's something about a Jaguar. It's often the automobile of the world's most interesting man, or at least the Equalizer. They've always looked about the same and you've always assumed that the driver was the kind of guy to always wear a suit and often pack a gun. He carried a Zippo and a hip flask and women wanted him because they could never tame him. 
Citroen C6 pictureAnd then this thing came out. You can see images of the new 2010 Jaguar JK here (google images) and when you do, you won't like them. Not because the new JK isn't good looking, because it is, somewhat, pretty, but because it has nothing to do with Jaguars as you think of them. The new JK looks a lot like the latest, slopy-backed Audi A6 and even more, especially from the back, like the Citroen C6 pictured here. The man driving this new Jaguar JK could be an accountant, a dentist, a perpetrated of Medi-Cal fraud or even a woman! 
2011 Mercedes S-Class pictureThe story is similar to what happened to the BMW 7 Series. The older, squarer big sedan was understated, purposeful and single-minded - it was perfect as the star in The Transporter - a movie that's otherwise bad in every way. However, the new BMW 7 is like someone's drunk dad.  The icon of manly classiness that was the BMW 7 Series went way beyond loosening the bow-tie with its evening brandy - it bulged and rounded, like Elvis. Leaving it the same  sad shell of its former self. Now this has happened with Jags too. Like when dad gets drunk, it's unrecognizable, discomforting. and undeniably uncool.  So for all those who seek a car with mystery and an element of danger, along with a proper trunklid, the Mercedes S Class it is the best you're gonna do.