The American Man Gets a New Van - and F'd in the Can

Vans do lots of stuff. Or, at least, they carry lots of stuff. Stuff usually weighs a lot - tools, parts for other stuff, ladders to reach stuff up high. And, since the Eurostar and the Astro van met their doom, the van man has had to buy pickup trucks and camper shells.

With Ford killing off the Crown Victory Cop Killer, it means that anything big, like vans, with a V8 has to be replaced by something less big with smaller engines. A lot of car companies would get clever and base something on a Mustang. Instead, they're bringing the European Transit Connect to van-hungry Americans. But are repairmen, plumbers and deliverers or heavy stuff going to rush out to get this Eurovan?

Probably not. The Connect is Front-Wheel Drive (FWD). Even with a relatively-torquish, 1.8L Diesel, the idea of merging onto a freeway with a washing machine, compressors, socket wrenches and replacement washing machine motors on-board doesn't sound likely. Sure, the Europeans can carry their cheese, flowers and impressionist paintings around round-abouts and narrow city streets in Barcelona, Nice and Stafordshire - but the American van man needs rear-wheel drive and and triple-digit horsepower. In other words, if you see this van arockin' - actually, you just won't see this van doing much. Not anything that an HHR sedan delivery can't do while looking cooler.

So, as gas prices keep climbing, expect to pay much more for all your van-man needs, since he'll keep driving his pickup, waiting for someone to sell him a real, mid-size van.

What the Hell? The Fiat 500 is a small car I actually like.

OK, so, at heart, I'm a redneck, and as such, I like big, comfortable and cheap cars/trucks with V8 engines, hooked up to the rear wheels. Small cars are for people that can't afford those and girls, right? And, yeah, the Mini is a great car...for girls. Even the Scion Xb is pretty cool...and yet it's for girls and high schoolers. But, there's hope for my gas guzzling ways (maybe). The Fiat 500 coming out in our fifty-first state, Europe makes me think twice. The interior is so convincingly old fashioned like. The safety rating is so good (top score from the EU folks). And the ridiculously amazing gas mileage of the Fiat 500 (56mpg) is just mind boggling. Yes, it's over 10 seconds 0-60 and yes, that sucks from a standing stop at a freeway onramp - but damn!

At the end of the day, my car might easily be a Chevy Silverado Extended cab...yeah...with leather. Although a Mustang GT Convertible also whispers my name at night. But if the Fiat 500 comes to to the States (and there's a tiny chance it will), I might think about it for my Hollywood, green car cred.

Official Media Images of the Fiat 500

Diesel Power

- Better than hybrids or just for eurotrash?

It smells like ass, doesn’t cost that much and usually means very little acceleration. No, it’s not Taco Bell's steak quesadilla. It’s diesel power! While everyone and their mama, including the latest consumer reports announcement, is jumping onto the hybrid wagon - diesel is still seen as being just for trucks and buses. The truth is, when USA Today (the thinking man’s toilet paper) drove a Prius and a VW Jetta TDI from Detroit to D.C. - the Vdub got six more MPG than the Toyota, which got 38. That’s also 6 less than Consumer Reports got out of their Prius.

I have a hard time advocating that people drive diesels. Compared to the futurism and political cache of hybrids, diesels don’t seem to have a lot going for them. In city centers, hybrids are the way to go. Diesel smoke (proven to cause cancer) spewing from buses and slow-moving traffic produces a black cloud that hovers at street level. London cabs are all diesel - go smell that place. Hybrids, meanwhile spew nothing at those low speeds. It’s a better technology for taxis, police cars, meter maids and buses.

Fair enough, but at highway speeds, like on USA Today’s trip, and most other USA driving, diesels make tons more sense than the overhyped hybrids. Diesel fuel costs around 15% less and the extra cost of the car is often as little as 300 bucks (in the case of the Passat). This is compared to the $2,700 you’ll add to your Escape XLT Sport to get the Hybrid. Diesels are also not quite as slow as they used to be. There's diesel bimmers in europe that make close to 300 hp!

Compared to Ethanol, there aren’t diesel versions available for most cars sold in the US. Instead, cars like the Volkswagen Golf, Mercedes E type and BMW offer diesel engines in the States - a BMW X5 diesel's coming soon - meaning you’ve got little choice but to go German. If that ain’t your thing - you have a wide variety of massive, American trucks to choose from! Ford, GM and Dodge make awesome diesel trucks in both regular and dually variety! There’s also the Hummer H1 and the International RTX (both pictured) to help reduce our dependence on foreign oil!