Caught in the Crossfire...'s lameness.

Remember the Crossfire?

Yeah, no one does. And yet, if the desperate housewife on your street didn't go for its mid-life crisis tackling appeal - maybe this thing will do the trick.

Maybe this is the dad version. After slamming doors and screaming about his wife doesn't really understand him - he can storm out and get into this, Hemi-powered, 1.5 ton Viagra bottle . Cause that's what this is. It's even called the Firepower - to remind you that you don't shoot blanks. The idea of this sort of sporty Chrysler actually makes the Corvette seem like it's for young people. Check out the story on Car's awesome new website - fun fact: Car's been a hair away from publishing my Escalade test-drive for 4 months. I'll let you know how that goes.

National Corvette Museum’s Commission Impossible
-The Corvette’s not just an expensive, shiny Viagra bottle – it’s an icon. But can the museum start another American revolution and put some hard cash in its pocket?

I'm not even sure why Kentucky needs a Corvette Museum. I suppose people with kids need to have a place to take them on Saturdays. They can look at all the Corvettes and marvel at what GM was once able to do. Today, Corvette is very separate from Chevrolet.

Where once, teenagers with posters of 'Vettes on their wall could at least buy Corvette's ugly cousins from Chevy lots, today, there's nothing that really shares in the go-fast-for-cheap bloodline. Nobody's going to buy a Cobalt because they like the Corvette.

However, that didn't stop one member of the Corvette museum's inner-sanctum, a GM exec, no less, from offering the museum money if it could convince 100 non-GM drivers to switch to a Chevy, Pontiac, Buick, Hummer, Cadillac, GMC or Saab.

Of course, it would probably take more than the $25,000 the guy's offering the museum to actually figure out how GM could do this.

There's not a lot of appeal in these marks for those who haven't already bought into the GM fantasy. However, if you prize comfort you've already got a Chevy SUV GMC, H2 or Caddy.

But maybe, you just want a shiny new car with two sunroofs without the burdensome pressure and inconvenience of having a job - in which case you've probably already got a Pontiac adorning your parents' driveway.

Perhaps, watching Frasier while reading books about wine and listening to world music in a Starbucks are all highly appealing to you - in which case - you still won't be running out to buy a Saab because, of course, you've already got one - in yellow.

The point is, there hasn't been a new reason to buy any of the brands the museum needs to get their money. Rumours have it that the money, so desperately needed by the Corvette Museum would go to build a life-size papier-mâché replica of the Corvette. It would have a working, papier-mâché engine and be made entirely from Corvette drivers' divorce papers.

Ford's done a wise thing by creating a halo car for the Mustang. High school kids trying to keep up the grades to get a V6 Couple can look up to the GT 500. Just think about how hard you'd pound those index cards. study guides and see-and-says if you knew that just one 'D' and you get a Malibu instead.